What’s up river-bitches?! It’s the heat of the summer here in the northern hemisphere so of course Riverdale’s taking that as an excuse to turn its own heat up. That’s right, folks. Sexy Archie is back to its old tricks, one stag film at a time.
As always, spoilers ahead.
1. The Sixth Censorship
We all knew it was coming. There’s no way the team wasn’t going to introduce a comics code by the end of the season. I mean, the guy’s named Dr. Werthers and pulled a “Bonfire of the Vanities” for chrissake. What I didn’t expect was for there to be an extended scene of Jughead and Al Fieldstone learning the hard way that you cannot act in good faith against a group determined to act in bad, especially when they invoke “the children.”
As always, the commentary is not subtle. History repeats like a bad, broken record. The comics code then is like the McCarthy hearings before it and the “anti-woke” crusades of the right or the raft of terrible, terrible internet bills today. But to step away from the serious, there’s one thing that’s been bugging me all season that’s only now clicked into place.
How, in the ever loving fuck, do these numbnuts have so much damn power?
See, at first I thought they were impacting pep comics because they had influence in the town. That this was why newsstands stopped taking the comics and that they were primarily a local comic publisher. But no! This is national! The code in the show became national, despite every instance of coverage we got being hyperlocal! I am baffled and floored by this development.
Scratch that, I’m just floored. Because, as we all know, this is exactly the kind of giant leap in logic for the sake of sudden and dramatic escalation beyond all reason that is peak Riverdale. Peak, peak Riverdale.
2. Burlesque
This was a strange episode for me. I had trouble figuring out if I liked it or not. Or, rather, if it was a good episode of Riverdale because it felt more traditionally Riverdale, because it felt more like the other off-beat season 7 episodes, or if it was too all-over the place tonally and kind of a mess (much like a traditional Riverdale episode.)
Like, all the stuff with Cheryl and Toni was fine D-plot stuff but amounted to very little. More of the same with Cheryl and her mom and it was just an excuse to have those trailer shots of Toni & Cheryl posing in lingerie. The same could kind of be said for Jug’s attempts to fight back against the comics code, though at least that was a continuation (and advancement) of an ongoing storyline.
But one area that did not disappoint was in the reappearance of Polly. Turns out, she wasn’t just living a busy life on Broadway but instead was a burlesque dancer named Polly Amorous. A+ for the person who pitched that. I laughed way harder than I should have.
It’s the continuation of a trend in season 7, whereby they’re taking characters that were done dirty in the rest of the show, usually female characters that had violent deaths after being maligned in life, and giving them a less salacious version of that life. It’s not an easier life – see Midge & Ethel’s stints at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy – but there isn’t this lurid attempt to one-up the last awful situation.
In the case of Polly, her use of her sensuality and sexuality is no longer being portrayed as 1) her downfall and 2) a morally reprehensible thing. Instead, it’s celebrated! Remember after the time skip? The show was VERY judgy about Polly in some very gross ways and then processed to finish the long, downward slide they forced her onto. And good for her. She deserves this and it supports the episode’s more positive and expansive sexual politics, a marked difference from both past seasons and the real 1950s mainstream.
Plus, no cult! If that’s not something to celebrate, then you have clearly been watching a different show from me.
3. Bad Mom
I had a lot to say about Alice last week. I have a lot less to say this week because It. Finally. Is. Happening. Betty is standing up to her mom in a quite definitive way, placing a stake in the ground, and saying I will go no further with you. GOOD! Get fucked Alice!
Continued belowI feel vindicated. I know it’s going to be short lived. That’s the way of things around here. But somehow it feels different this time. For one, the drama of the moment was played down instead of up. The cinematography was markedly more guerilla, with shaky cam and long shots and a more desaturated color palette. It also ended with that slap and Alice crying again, which once more, kudos to the two actresses for devouring the scene in different ways and yet keeping it grounded at the same time? I dunno how that’s possible but they did it.
Also also, Polly and Betty’s bonding helped facilitate Betty’s self-actualization. There’s a big difference between the relationship they had before, tense and awful as it was, and now. Betty’s realization that, if her mom isn’t willing to change for her or for the family, then she cannot force that change, is profound. No amount of love or care or tries will make someone who does not want to change, who is unable to recognize the capacity for that change, to do so. And until Alice is ready, Betty has to give up and live her own life, on her own terms.
Of course, she’ll still be around and will be there should Alice finally admit to herself that she’s suffering and making others suffer as well, all for, what? Spite? A misguided worldview? But nothing more. It’s Alice’s loss, even if everyone is hurt in the process.
4. Archie & Reggie’s Excellent Adventure
These two have the damn sweetest B plot. Charles Melton and KJ Apa have an effortless chemistry on screen. You can’t help but smile anytime they’re up to their antics. Just two bumbling squares trying to watch a stag film because it’s kinda forbidden and the forbidden is exciting. Only the first one is cut short cause apparently Polly was in it, the second was a prank played by Julian and is a “wrestling film,” which was ACTUALLY a wrestling film with the lens of a burlesque show, and the third burnt up in the projector so they end up going to Twila Twist to have sex, I guess? Or just have a peep show? I dunno. Doesn’t matter.
What matters is that along the way, they start figuring out more about themselves, their relationship to each other, and their sexualities. Reggie and Archie profess love to each other by a sunset and it feels like a radical act of openness between two characters who are supposed to embody male closedness. They stand in contrast to Julian and Frank and Kevin, and to some extent Clay, in that moment. It’s another celebration of another facet of the episode’s exploration of sex, love, and relationships.
I think what I liked most about that ending too was its ambiguity. There isn’t a clear application of labels and that makes it feel more real. Life is the gray and the in-between; the fumbling and considering and confronting of societal biases; the layering of experiences and the figuring of it all out. Life is queer and nuanced and full of all manners of love and to pin them down to only one thing, one end of a spectrum, is to diminish what makes it so varied and beautiful and to deny it completely is to leech the wonder and truth out of the world.
I know which life I would rather lead. And so do Archie & Reggie now.
5. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jughead and Veronica kiss at the end with no mention of Veronica & Betty’s burgeoning relationship. Fuck that noise. How dare you. If I had popcorn, I’d throw it at the screen.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
That about does it for now! What did you all think of this strange follow up to “Miss Teen Riverdale?” Was it sexy enough for you? Was it not sexy enough? Let me know in the comment and then get ready for the return of one Josie McCoy. Until then, keep discovering the sunrises with the ones you love Riverdale.
Best Line of the Night:
Principal Featherstone: “Shouldn’t you be in class, Mr. Jones?”
Jughead: “It’s my lunch period, sir.”
