They’ve got powers. They’ve got baggage. They’ve got eight days to save the world. Welcome to the Umbrella Academy. The Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba series comes to Netflix, introducing the world to the eccentric Richard Hargreeves and his superpowered progeny, who themselves have become less than superpowered adults.
Get to know a little bit more about Luther and how he transformed, and watch Klaus put Hazel and Cha Cha through the wringer. Put on a pot of coffee, cue up some Automatic for the People, and let’s dive in to “Man on the Moon,” As always, spoilers within.
1. Here’s a Truck Stop Instead of Saint Peter’s
Luther’s hairy past reveals itself in the opening scene of this episode. Seven years ago, he was the last member of the Umbrella Academy standing, still going out on missions for Dad (and Dad still calling him Number One even though he was the only one). One of those last missions left him near death, and to revive him, Papa Hargreeves injected him with some sort of serum that saved his life . . . but rendered him half man, half primate. For what it’s worth, Luther doesn’t seem to regret this decision, even when his siblings are appalled by it.
Seeing this also had me wonder: Was Pogo human at one point as well? Is his look the results of a failed serum, or even a successful serum?
Contrasting this with later flashback scenes of Papa Hargreeves “helping” (and I use that term loosely) Klaus to hone his abilities to talk with the dead, you can see that when it’s a matter of life or death, he protects his children. Though I dock him several stars for that serum – – he had to have known the side effects.
2. Fifty Shades of Klaus
Klaus is putting Hazel and Cha Cha through their paces after the kidnapping. He seems to be enjoying the initial torture (his face looked a bit orgasmic after that strangling . . . Fifty Shades of Klaus?) but when Ben helps him to realize that his visions of a babbling Slavic woman are a sign of drug withdrawal and a manifestation of his powers, he uses them in full force. He calls back every one of Hazel and Cha Cha’s victims for a getting to know you session. Since of course, he’s the only one who can see them, he just looks like he’s talking to himself. This unnerves our assassins for hire, pitting each against the other and allowing Klaus to make an escape (thankfully with his coat).
For Hazel and Cha Cha, Klaus did prove useful in providing some information about Five to Five’s targets; namely, that “he [Five] hasn’t been making much sense since he came back.” Oh, and a little something about the fake eye. They realize what we realized from the start: Five wants to change history. They kill him, they kill the world.
3. It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses a Fake Eye
After three episodes of family drama, it’s finally back to the “we gotta save the world from ending” narrative with Five back on the case, and getting a little aggressive to boot. He confronts Lance of Meritech at knife point revealing that the fake eyes are being manufactured with Meritech technology and dollars, but being sold on the black market. Now it’s a race to Meritech with Lance and Five in one car, Hazel and Cha Cha in another car (because thanks to Klaus, they now know one key item Five is after), and Luther and Diego after Five as they have realized just what grave danger their brother is in. This is the TV equivalent of one of those mascot races you see at baseball games.
Who won? Hazel and Cha Cha. And they celebrate with some special chocolate and a ceremonial dance and torching of Meritech. (The destruction itself was nothing special, but I did love how the cameras framed the two of them rejoicing at this big break, straight out of the Pulp Fiction playbook.)
4. When All Else Fails, Go to the Library
“Google can bring you back 100,000 answers, a librarian can bring you back the right one.” – – Neil Gaiman
Continued belowOr in this case, your brother. Diego and Luther, on the hunt for Five, head over to the library (because they take a page from Hermione Granger’s playbook and in times of crisis, consult the library). They eventually find a (drunk) Five, but that’s not all that important here.
What is important is Diego’s truth bomb to Luther, the same one Allison dropped on Vanya two episodes ago: the way you were raised does not define who you are as an adult. Diego left the academy because he wanted to be in the world, to make his own decisions. He still has love for some of his family (Grace in particular), but the only way he was going to grow was by getting out of those oppressive walls.
Luther’s blind loyalty to the Academy is commendable, but has potential to do more mental and emotional damage. (Side note: I hope we see, either in this season or future seasons, what made Luther just so loyal to the family – – even after his father inadvertently transformed him into half-man, half-chimp.)
5. “I Like You and I’m Not Sorry”
Oh, Leonard. You are so smitten, but so creepily smitten. You let Vanya stay on your couch, buy her flowers, walk her to rehearsal. But then you do things like let herself into your apartment to “use the bathroom.” (Seriously dude, go find a bodega, buy a soda and a bag of chips, and then ask as a paying customer if you can use the bathroom. Less creepy plus snacks!) And things like pilfering her medication and dumping it down the drain. Watch yourself, Vanya. You’re going to get hurt in more ways than one.
But I feel for Diego most of all in this episode. You got the impression at first him and Detective Patch were an office fling, borne out of perhaps one too many drinks at the precinct holiday party. But when he’s got no one else to turn to – – after the attack on the Academy, Grace’s death, and the realization his brother is a wanted criminal – – he turns to Eudora Patch. Which makes his discovery of her dead body (murdered by Cha Cha when Patch confronted the time traveling assassins at their No-Tell Motel) ever so heartbreaking to watch, underscored by David Gray’s equally heartbreaking “This Year’s Love.”
Diego liked Eudora Patch. Probably loved her. And he’s not sorry to admit that. Only sorry he didn’t admit it sooner.
Afterthoughts:
– While it certainly doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test, it’s nice seeing Vanya and Allison have some sisterly bonding over drinks.
– Shirtless Luther pre-serum. RAWR.
We’ll see you next week for “Number Five” (it’s the fifth episode, natch) and let us know what you thought of the episode in the comments!
