Hoo boy, where to start with this week’s batch of “Countdown” issues. These are some of the most plot-dense yet, to the point of feeling overstuffed. On the one hand, that’s a welcome change from the vast majority of the previous 32 issues of the series, which mostly felt like they were spinning plates. On the other, the writers could have perhaps avoided both issues by more evenly pacing the story. I’d be curious to see to what degree, if any, the series was outlined beforehand. While the series being 51 issues was surely an editorial decision that was foisted upon the writers, one potential advantage you’d think this would confer would be the ability to clearly plot a roadmap. Alas.
The first major reveal in this chunk is one that has been teased at since the series’ beginning: the location of Ray Palmer. During the previous altercation between the Challengers and Nix Uotan, Nix let slip that he knew where Ray Palmer was, and that Palmer was living a life of comfort. This led Bob the Monitor to surmise that Nix would only know this if Palmer was, in fact, on the Earth that was monitored by Nix Uotan, Earth-51. When the Challengers arrived on Earth-51, they found an Earth that was supposedly free of conflict (the super-powered variety, at least), one where nearly all superheroes had long since hung up their capes. The team dons plainclothes in order to blend in during their search, which is somewhat counteracted by the fact Bob is something like 8 feet tall, has red eyes, and (most disturbingly of all) is a white guy with cornrows. They eventually find Ray hanging out with this universe’s Jean Loring, Barry Allen, Iris Allen, Ralph Dibny, and Sue Dibny. This would be awkward enough on its own, and is made by even more so by Ralph telling the story of some case with Dr. Light that he dubbed “A Crisis of Identity.” Really lovely stuff to wink and nod to the reader about.
When the party is interrupted by the Challengers, Ray fesses up: he is in fact, the Ray Palmer of Earth-1, not Earth-51. His story is what we in the biz call “a trip.” After the events of “Identity Crisis,” Ray did that thing we all do when we’re grieving and shrunk as small as he possibly could, exploring the microverse and eventually discovering he could shrink so small he could slip between universes. He looked for the perfect Earth to run off to and found it in Earth-51, an “untainted” earth where heroes were heroes, villains were villains, but villains were never so villainous that they did, uh, the things Dr. Light did in “Identity Crisis.” When Ray went to find his own counterpart (seriously, hasn’t he read any sci-fi, you never, ever should do that) he arrived just in time to watch Ray-51 blow himself up when attempting to make a multiverse-traveling device. So Ray decided to do what any reasonable person would do and, uh, replace his counterpart. Don’t worry! This was literally the night that he had his first blind date with Jean Loring, so it’s not like he lied to her about being someone she already loved! What about all those other people who were presumably already in Ray-51’s life that Ray-1 would have had to lie to? Uh, he doesn’t mention that. Apparently Ray-51 had discovered the possibility of the Great Disaster we’ve heard so much about and was conducting research to avert it. This is totally the reason Ray-1 took his place, and definitely not because he wanted his perfect life, no-sir-ee.
A couple quick notes on issue #18, where most of the above takes place: there are a couple pages at the beginning of this issue where Sean McKeever recaps the events of “Identity Crisis,” particularly from Ray’s point of view. This is good! It’s done in a way that doesn’t feel like pure rehashing while also giving context for readers who either didn’t read that hot mess or don’t quite remember the relevant details. “Countdown” as a whole would have greatly benefited from more recaps like this. The issue is also illustrated by Scott Kolins, most well-known for his work with Geoff Johns on “The Flash.” Like Porter in the last batch of issues, this is far from Kolins’ best work, but also like Kolins that isn’t too bad because at least he has flair. You can recognize a Kolins book from a mile away, and his distinct style at least makes this info-dump of an issue interesting to look at.
Continued belowIn what at first appears to be another final page fake-out but is, in fact, for real, Bob the Monitor tries to blow Ray to kingdom come (figuratively, not the elseworld). In another wink-and-nod that seems extraordinarily cruel, Bob burns this world’s Jean Loring to a crisp a la Sue Dibny in the process of trying to fry Ray. Jesus Christ that’s a bit much. The Challengers manage to temporarily escape with Ray, after which the other Monitors appear at Bob’s location. Turns out Bob and Solomon were, in fact, in cahoots: Bob would appear to be the “good” Monitor and track down Ray with the heroes. Why the heroes were needed, like pretty much everything in this series, doesn’t make sense and isn’t really explained. Solomon then disintegrates Bob in front of all the other Monitors which, understandably, makes them doubt his leadership. Supposedly Solomon expected to absorb Bob’s powers and consciousness but this didn’t work for reasons he doesn’t understand. His goal is apparently to unify the multiverse under the watch of a single Monitor (himself, naturally). In another “all according to keikaku” moment it is revealed that actually getting all the Monitors in one place was part of Monarch’s plan, and he now intends to invade Earth-51, off all the Monitors, and then proceed to conquer the entire multiverse.
Let’s talk Monarch for a minute. The first time his identity is revealed within the pages of “Countdown” is in the backup of #17. For some context, “Countdown” has backup features that are origin stories for assorted characters that are usually a billion times better than the bulk of the issue. I had been skipping them because I don’t want to make this run take any longer than it needs to, but I read this one wholly by coincidence because my server in Final Fantasy XIV was down due to a DDoS attack that night. And thank goodness I did! Apparently after Captain Atom went on his trip to the Wildstorm universe in “Captain Atom: Armageddon” (a miniseries we all read), he appeared in the pages of “The Battle for Bludhaven,” an “Infinite Crisis” follow-up miniseries written by “Countdown” contributors Palmiotti and Gray (and, again, that everybody read). It was there that Captain Atom was fitted with the Monarch armor and eventually lost his mind, so I guess his identity wasn’t supposed to be a mystery in the first place. Well, it’s not like there would have been any convenient way to bring that up in the context of the – wait a minute, I see he also appeared in the “Ion” miniseries starring Kyle Rayner, and that he revealed his identity to Kyle there. Why didn’t Kyle mention to Jason and/or Donna that this “Monarch” was in fact Nathaniel Adam in any of the preceding issues? Why are all of the creative decisions of this series the way they are? Why? Why?! Whyyyy?!
Ahem.
Anyway, the arrival of Monarch on Earth-51 leads to some of the most action-packed issues of the series so far. The Monitors of this world are in conflict with Monarch’s massive multiversal murdersquad. While this fight is happening, a few different things happen elsewhere on Earth-51 (or at least adjacent to the events happening thereon). First, Jason Todd finds the Batman of Earth-51, who is one of the only still active superheroes on this Earth. In fact, the reason Earth-51 is so peaceful because Batman-51 decided to use guns and kill supervillains after Jason-51 was killed by the Joker. That sound you hear in the distance is editor Brian Salvatore laughing at me as I plead to be released from the torment of writing about this hacky series. After a bit of butting heads, Batman-51 decides to give Jason the Red Robin costume he had intended for Jason-51 to wear before he was cut down in his prime.
While this is going on, Donna fights the evil Donna of Earth-3, who was apparently promised something (?) by Belthera, the fairy queen from earlier in the series that no one could give two shits about. She delivers the knockout blow while saying “I’m Donna Troy, bitch,” which, sure, why not. She then switches clothes with her doppelganger and takes her to Belthera in order to get the drop on the fairy queen. After besting Belthera in combat, Belthera’s insectoid army swears fealty to Donna. Don’t worry, this will all be rendered meaningless an issue later, when Monarch releases an atomic explosion that vaporizes the entire army.
The third major event is the appearance of everyone’s favorite manchild, Superboy Prime! Even he can’t make this trainwreck entertaining, though. He confronts Solomon in the Orrery of Worlds (though I’m not 100% that term had been coined yet and I’m too lazy to check), demanding that the Monitors help him find a world as perfect as his beloved Earth Prime. In a somewhat cunning move Solomon shows Prime the once peaceful Earth-51 in flames, causing Prime to travel there and attempt to put a stop to Monarch’s carnage with some carnage of his own. This is where the infamous “I’ll kill you to death panel” comes from, by the way. After the two fight for a while, Prime manages to tear open his opponent’s armor, releasing Monarch/Atom’s apocalyptic quantum energy. This annihilates at least everyone on this Earth, if not this entire universe, except for Nix Uotan, who managed to send the Challengers and Ray Palmer to another unspecified universe before the quantum wave wrecks the universe. As to where they went… well, we’ll have to see next week!
As for the other plotlines, thank Christ, there wasn’t much. Holly and Harley abandon their posts in Paradise Island bootcamp to explore a cave and find Hippolyta, who recruits them to her cause to overthrow Artemis (who’s secretly Granny Goodness, remember?). Eclipso finds Mary in space, expecting her to be drained from their earlier fight, but Mary uses her Shazam bolt to fry both Eclipso and her powers. Falling from the sky, she coincidentally ends up on Paradise Island. Forager regains her senses and stops fighting Jimmy, and when they’re suddenly attacked by Bernadeth, Desaad’s sister, Jimmy’s eyes glow gold and they teleport away. Pied Piper hears Trickster’s voice (curiously in lettering that makes me think of The Spectre, but that’s probably a coincidence) in the desert and is depicted contemplating cutting off his hand to separate himself from Trickster’s corpse, but that was in issue #19 and still hasn’t been followed-up on. With so much of these issues focusing on the Challengers’ plotline I’m having even more trouble seeing how all of this connected than before. I’m losing my mind, and there are twelve issues to go. I have a “Watchmen” amount of “Countdown” issues left, and I plan to cover it all in the next installment. Please pray for me.
