• Reviews 

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine (or, The Pratfalls of Human Memory)

    By | May 3rd, 2019
    Posted in Reviews | % Comments

    I’m starting to think that it was a bad idea to wait 24 hours after watching the movie to write this review, because I can barely remember any of it.

    Hugh Jackman… naked? Bones turn into… knives? Weapon TEN, not “X.” That made a lot of sense to me. The bad airplane CGI at the beginning did not. And that dude with the electrical powers? Pour one out for him.

    You can easily make the case about how the movie is one of the worst superhero movies of this century, but I think I’m with the founding article of this site: it’s not as bad as everyone says it is. It’s still better produced, more coherent, more concise, better acted, and better directed than your typical episode of the CW superhero shows, and those inexplicably still have an avid following.

    I had two memories of this movie before rewatching it. One, Ryan Reynolds’ decapitated head shooting a laser beam that tore down an entire nuclear smokestack (because, let’s be real, that’s both awesome and terrifying when you’re 14). And two, that time when I was visiting some family in Arizona and we were half-watching the movie in a living room at 1pm, just trying to pass the time because there was nothing else to really do in the middle of the desert.

    That’s the kind of movie this is: the sort of thing you throw on in the middle of the day when you have nothing else to do and are desperately in need of either coffee or a nap. It’s a largely inoffensive excuse to watch some cool action scenes and marvel at Jackman’s glorious naked ass. Which, incidentally, is probably all I’ll remember a week from now.


    //TAGS | Multiversity Turns 10

    Nicholas Palmieri

    Nick is a South Floridian writer of films, comics, and analyses of films and comics. Flight attendants tend to be misled by his youthful visage. You can try to decipher his out-of-context thoughts over on Twitter at @NPalmieriWrites.

    EMAIL | ARTICLES


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