In the age of Marvel Studios it would be easy to assume the general public has always been enamored with superheroes in celluloid. Avengers: Endgame just blew the doors open with a 1.2 billion dollar opening weekend, being received by both moviegoers and critics with adulation. It’s a great time for geek culture, and for those weird, big-headed Funko Pop figurines. Though they’re more statues than figures, aren’t they? But, I digress. We’re in a zenith for comic book films, and it is often easy to forget the films that paved the way for these titans of ticket sales, especially when many are derided today.
Such is the case with X-Men: Colon: Origins: Wolverine. While it is certainly not a high point in cinema, most especially in the case of beloved nerd adaptations—it is tough, after all, to reach the heights of such milestones as 1984’s Supergirl or Catwoman starring Halle Berry—it is a film not quite so deserving of the stones cast its way. After all, were it not for the flashback tale of James Jimmy Jimbo Jimmerino Logan Howlett (is he ever even called Howlett in this?), we might not have ever been graced with the Robert Downey Jr vehicle Iron Man, which came out a year prior.
The adaptation of Wolverine: Origin deserves your respect, as it is a film full of firsts, despite being a feat of futility. Featuring some of the best noughties CGI seen outside of The Scorpion King, this film is a bastion of belated introductions for characters and ideas we probably should have been seen sooner but were certainly given better treatments later. So for a retrospective review, I’d like to break down a few things you may not have considered from one of the best of Fox’s frenetic film slate of X-Men treatments.
Firstly, for an introduction, casting all jokes aside this film genuinely has a fantastic opening. We meet both Victor and James at early ages and their familial fraternal relationship is established. This is handled deftly as James sees his fake father killed by his real daddy, who is not Michael Rooker. Popping those iconic claws of bone was a game changer in the world of 2009, and what followed was one of the best howls since Darth Vader’s “NOOOOOOOOO” in 2005’s Star Wars: Episode 3 – Anakin Killed All Them Kids. All of this precedes what is legitimately one of the most entertaining montage sequences in all of cinema as we follow Victor and James through the various major wars of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, beginning with the Civil War—no, not that one you dorks—and ending with the Vietnam conflict, where the story proper begins to take place.
From there we are introduced to Colonel William Stryker and the rest of his team. There are a number of character debuts here, most notably one Wade Wilson, portrayed by Ryan Reynolds, star of the hit film Buying the Cow alongside the fat kid from Stand By Me. Wade’s mile-a-minute quips as the Merc With the Mouth would be well received with audiences before a violent altercation with a studio executive resulted in his mouth being sewn shut. Wade would later appear in Blade: Trinity before a more appropriate representation in 2016’s Deadpool.
Wilson would not be the only veteran of printed lore to appear in X-Men: The First X-Man as several other characters were given time to shine. Dominic Monaghan’s Merry gets to showcase his techno-telepathic abilities before being gutted by Victor in the first act of the film. Daniel Henney was also brought on to portray Agent Zero, featuring some of the best wire work since Mia Farrow’s Peter Pan. Will I. Am also began his storied career her before…let me check my notes here…continuing to be a backup singer/dancer for Fergie.
Origins: Wolverine’s Origins also saw the debut of fan-favorite Gambit, played by Taylor Kitsch. Sadly, while this film saw many later successes for its characters and actors, neither Gambit nor Kitsch have been seen on the silver screen since—sorry Channing Tatum. Bleeding Cool has reported a rumor that Kitsch took a job as a farmhand on Hayden Christensen’s farm in Canada, but this has not been confirmed. We reached out to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, unfortunately, Multiversity has not received a response at the time of this publication.
Continued belowWeekend at Wolverine’s: Origin also gives us a first usage of the titular character’s namesake, as a fairly comic-accurate Silverfox recounts the legend of Mele Kalikimaka, the Wolverine, to Logan. While some of the relationship and interactions here may feel stilted, this is the impetus for Logan submitting himself to the Weapon X program, giving us the standard adamantium skeleton and claws for which the character is most well known. The tragic loss of Kayla also gives way to another first as it leads to the first on-screen appearance of the huge jacked man’s ass. While most assumed this first took place in X-Men: Dayo Futi Papa, Logan first bared backside here in his escape from the Weapon X facility. You’d be forgiven for mixing up this gluteal induction though, as the producers of the Fox-led X-Men franchise couldn’t keep up with their own timeline either.
One of the standout performances from Wolverine: The Rise of Ryan Reynolds has to be Liev Schreiber’s Victor Creed, better known to canon nerds as Sabretooth. While Logan was well received among pundits and Twitterers, Schreiber’s absence is widely considered to be a missed opportunity. It is understandable that clones are both cheaper and more easily disposed of post-production, but missing out on another outing with this actor is one thing I will never let go of. While many fans pine for at least a cameo featuring a trio of Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, and Josh Brolin, I’ll forever be holding on to the hope of seeing Ray Donovan fight Jean Valjean one last time. After all, “nobody kills you but me.”
X-Men: The One That’s Not as Bad as Brett Ratner’s One will forever be considered a poor installment in a franchise of other poor installments that make it not look so bad, but there’s a lot of fun to be had in this 2009 outing. Jackman is, as always, a pleasure to watch playing the central protagonist, and he is backed up by a cast that gives competent performances despite some questionable creative direction. It’s easy to make fun of this film, as I chose to do here, but as a twenty-three-year-old lifelong comics fan, I once enjoyed it before being shot in the head with an adamantium bullet. Because somehow that erases memories.
