Welcome back to our recap of Fox’s hit TV series, Gotham. As the one person who watches this show, it’s been decided that I should be the one to chronicle its existence so history could never forget. Kind of like The Giver, I think. As always, I refuse to look up anything that happened in the previous two seasons of Gotham because I only started watching two weeks ago. Also, look out for spoilers from here on out.
Last time on Gotham, we saw Jim Gordon, who broke free from the hypnotic trigger that made him suicidal, arrested Mad Hatter after his sister, a survivor who suffered abuse from him for years, died horrifically in a freak accident. Also, The Riddler and The Penguin (who are in love?) beat Richard Kind to make Oswald Cobblepot the mayor of Gotham. While all of this was going on, Bruce Wayne’s clone kissed young Catwoman and ran off to dissapear forever only for the Court of Owls to kidnap him. This show really doesn’t let up.
1. Under The Red Hood Gang
After winning the mayoral election last week, Penguin spends some time at home talking to the statue of his dead mother. He asks if she’s proud of him which Riddler, the love of Penguin’s life, says he’s sure she is. Satisfied, the Penguin straight up brings the statue of his dead mom onto the steps of city hall for his inauguration. You know, like Ronald Reagan did with that statue of Bonzo in ’84. Tragically, the Red Hood gang (who exist on this show?!) stroll in, fire guns at nobody, and cut off Ms. Cobblepot’s stone head, declaring war on the new mayor of Gotham. Everyone in the crowd is horrified, but also a little relieved that they don’t have to keep looking at a dead lady while they try to swear their mayor into office.
This all turns out to be the plot of Butch, the least important of Penguin’s cronies who’s getting nervous that Cobblepot’s cozied up to Riddler so much. It’s kind of dumb since Butch serves as the Penguin’s muscles and Riddler’s not going to challenge for that role anytime soon because he’s being played by the floating shopping bag from American Beauty. Butch wants to set up the Red Hood Gang to attack Oswald’s party that night so he can gun them all down and act like he’s Penguin’s hero. It’s not a bad plan except for how he’s already The Penguin’s bodyguard and shouldn’t he be doing this while an Alice in Wonderland enthusiast is going around hypnotizing people? There are literal X-Men running around, focus on that instead of how Penguin’s making googly eyes at Riddler. Nygma figures out where the Red Hoods are before the party though and Butch slaughtered them all prematurely, much to the Penguin’s delight. Unfortunately for Butch, the Riddler is the best character on the show.
At the party, Riddler tells Butch that he knows all about his Red Hood plan. However, Nygma won’t tell on Butch because he has a better plan. If Butch kills the Penguin tonight, Riddler will help him escape and together they”ll become the new co-mayors of Gotham or something. I think that’s how continuity of government works at the local level. This roused an audible “WHAT?!” from me because I totally bought that Riddler had been conning Penguin this whole time. Thankfully, true love prevails and Butch quickly realizes that Riddler gave him blanks so he would out himself in front of the whole crowd. Butch gets taken away from by the GCPD after Penguin screams in his face and Penguin seems like more of a hero for saying he’ll prosecute anyone who gets in Gotham’s way. Butch gets taken away by the cops, but is saved by some lady at the night club named Tabitha who might be Tigress? I’m not getting into that.
Back home, Penguin suits with Riddler on the couch, thanks him for his help, and asks if he needs a doctor after Butch attacked him during the party. Riddler says it’s alright and he’d do anything for the Penguin. As he says that, Penguin moves in closer and I was going to bet my entire family they were going to kiss. They share a really strong hug and there’s a lot of lingering shots but we’re still not officially Peddler yet. I seriously hope this isn’t just Gotham queer baiting all of us because at this point Riddler and Penguin actually seem like they’d be the healthiest relationship on this show.Continued below
3. Bruce Wayne’s Sad Penis Adventure
Over on the non villain side of things, Bruce Wayne asks Gordon to help find Ivy after she went missing a few weeks ago. They ask Bullock about it and they say a construction worker got laid out by a redhead in her twenties who had Ivy’s sweater. Everyone acts like this isn’t a big clue, even when there’s a redhead making vague threats to Selina at Cobblepot’s party who everyone says looks kind of familiar. To their credit, I also wouldn’t believe that Gotham would turn a twelve year old into a twentysomething flirting with old dudes at a bar. That wouldn’t make my top ten.
Bruce talks to Selina about the investigation into Ivy but really it’s an excuse to ask if she likes him back. She says he’s only interested in her because she’s the only girl she knows and blah blah blah. Like most romances, this relationship isn’t going to get interesting until they both start wearing leather and acting like animals.
4. Michael Chiklis’s Blood Diet
Remember when Michael Chiklis ate that dead girl’s magic blood? Apparently it’s given him the ability to walk without his crutch which means we’re a step closer into whatever villain he’ll evolve into. Feel free to place your bets in the comments. My top three guesses are Clayface, Bane, or The Thing. Just straight up The Thing.
5. Mad Hatter’s Tea Party
This episode ends with a look at things to come. Namely, more Mad Hatter. Tetch has gone more off the deep end since Alice died and is now kidnapping random girls, dressing them up as Alice, and then murdering them while they’re tied down to elaborate tea party sets. There’s a lot of sadness in this scene, to the pointlessness of this girl’s death to the great los that is Tetch’s set designing career. Look at that tea party set. Dude would’ve made a killing off of Tim Burton’s movies.