It’s off to the races with “A.K.A. I Have No Spleen,” the third episode of the third season of Netflix’s Jessica Jones. And, by “the races” I mean “the fridge, for another beer, because that’s the only way I’m going to make it through the doldrums this dull, dreadful series spiraled me into this week.” And, by “off,” I mean what I would have done to my TV were I not reviewing Jessica Jones for this wonderful site that lets me write such verbose nonsense as it does. But, while the third season of Jessica Jones may have little to say as a piece of “entertainment” I am contractually obligated to continue finding things to say about it. Otherwise I will, let me check my contract here, be required to do community service which involves spending time with Scott Buck as he exasperates me by describing his plot ideas for a second season of Inhumans. That option sounds much more painful, and there is at least some good in “A.K.A. I Have No Spleen.”
So, I suppose it’s off the races for us, then. As always, beware of spoilers and here are five thoughts on “A.K.A. You’re Welcome.”
1. Heroes and Victims
It is impressive how much of a gross misunderstanding of its own characters this season has. Even more than it is impressive, it is also confusing given that it still has Melissa Rosenberg at the helm, who has served as showrunner for all three seasons. You would expect that would give it some sense of consistency but this is so out of whack with the previous two seasons I’m having flashbacks of Zack Snyder’s flying murder machine again.
Much of “A.K.A. I Have No Spleen” involves Jessica not being able to come to terms with being a victim after her stabbing in episode one, which actually is in keeping with her character. Jarringly, though, she spends much of the episode bemoaning how “a hero is strong. A hero is invulnerable. A hero has a goddamn spleen.” Jones, who previously would rebuff any accusations of being a hero at all. She even notes to Trish how long she has been a hero, and what a short time Trish is.
This isn’t a character development, it is an outright mishandling of fundamental personality traits. No matter what amount of good she has done Jess has never been one to view herself in such terms. And a hero doesn’t drink a goddamn liter of bourbon a day. In this aspect, Jessica Jones clearly learned nothing from Hancock. Though, to be fair, I’m not sure anyone did in that scenario.
2. Detective Costa Doesn’t Do Flowers
For a bit of balance let’s talk about something that actually does work here, John Ventimiglia’s turn as Detective Eddy Costa. I don’t just mean in the sense that Costa has a job, clocks in and out, collects a paycheck. He’s a great character, one of the highlights of season two and continues to be one of the more enjoyable aspects of the show. His appearances are sparse, but work to move the plot and provide a chuckle.
He also seems to be the only one here with an actual understanding of the characters, remarking to Jessica “you’re not used to being the victim.” It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. Though it probably wouldn’t be as tough of a job without a superpowered stabbing victim kicking you out of a hospital chair.
3. Getting Busy Getting Busy
In the frankest of terms I feel it is worth noting that there is a whole lotta sexin’ going on in season three of Jessica Jones. Beginning with Jessica’s burger-tryst in the season premiere and arriving here in the third season where Grace attempts to assist her in making the A-train by bringing her to orgasm and Jeri seduces a former lover by getting her to play a sonata. It’s just…all the sexing. I must admit, this is the first time in my life I have ever found cello playing to be erotic. But I don’t listen to much classical music.
4. Speaking of Burger Guy
One favorite bit of “A.K.A. I have No Spleen” does have to be its ending. Benjamin Walker’s Erik Gelden makes for a great romantic foil to Ritter’s Jones and learning he may have been partially at fault for her near-death experience only adds folds to that subplot. He’s a charming and disarming character, and apparently makes one hell of a burger. Fingers crossed he continues to be an integral part of the season. Spoiler, he does.
Continued below5. Puns, he’s got them
You know what this season needs more of? Doctor Purks. You know what this season will not have one more ounce of? Doctor Purks. That’s a shame. He’s spleen-did. Most characters that annoy Jess make their scenes better, allowing Ritter to turn up the surliness. Doctor Purks is no ex-spleen-sion. Okay, I’ll stop the spleen puns since I’m terrible at them, but Purks is not.
His first utterance of such telling Jess “that’s what I’m trying to ex-spleen” brought me a chuckle but it is the line “your body has spleen better days” that really takes the cake here. Or takes the spleen? No, we’ll stick with cake, that feels more right.
Admittedly “A.K.A. I Have No Spleen” is more enjoyable than the previous two entries. I hope that’s a good sign, because we’ve got ten more to go, and I’m all out of spleen jokes.
